Searching for Always by Jennifer Probst
Pinky walked quietly across the floor and sat in front of the door, blocking his way.
"Oh, you think you're smart, huh? Well, guess what? If I did take you, you'd freak out because there's a pit bull over there. You'd probably go into convulsions and I'd have to turn right back around. You have to stay home, and I'm not giving up getting lucky just to watch football with you tonight."
Pinky sighed.
How had this happened? How had a half-catatonic dog suddenly become a manipulative, mushy, demanding pet? Sure, he'd spent a lot of time at the shelter talking to her. Sure, he'd given her a quiet, safe home to heal again, and finally let her sleep in his damn bed. Sure, he took her with him almost everywhere because he couldn't stand the idea of her crying. But this? Messing up his sex life?
Not gonna happen.
"Move out of the way. I bought you a new bone--it's the chewy kind, 'cause I know you hate the hard stuff. Probably because you still have baby teeth." Pinky stared. "For real, you are definitely not a man's type of dog. If the guys at the station other than Devine caught sight of you, I'd be fucked. And not in a good way. Not like I'm getting tonight."
Pinky cocked her ear.
Stone grabbed his coat and stomped over. "Go sleep. I left the TV on, and I'll be over at the crack of dawn again to take you out." The accidents were hardly happening anymore so somehow, the dog had been trained. Stone tried not to think that the dog had had a good life before she was dognapped or lost to the scum in the world. Hated to imagine she'd once had a family and children to love, and that she was still struggling to process it.
He grasped the doorknob and made a mistake.
His gaze met hers. In those brown puppy eyes, staring from beneath tufts of crazy hair, above her rat nose and strangely proportioned face, he saw it.
Adoration.
She looked at him with pure love, making low sounds of need in her throat, only wanting to be near him. And just like that, the big bad wolf fucking retired to become the wimpy grandma who liked cookies.
"Ah, crap. Fine. But I swear to God, if you give me problems, I'm gonna lose it."
She wriggled with joy, knowing she'd won, and he scooped her up into his arms.
ARILYN OPENED THE DOOR. Wearing a sexy black camisole, stretchy pants, and bare feet, she was both comfortable yet a bit naughty. She always preferred cotton to lace anyway, and Stone seemed to agree. Ready to jump into his arms and throw him off his game, she dropped her voice to a seductive whisper. "Why, Officer, are you coming to arrest--oh!" She blinked. He filled her doorway, dressed in his usual jeans, a faded blue-and-green-checked flannel shirt, and a fierce frown. His midnight-black hair slid over his brow in tousled disarray, setting off the intensity of his narrowed dark eyes. Waves of irritated male energy beat from his aura. Tucked under his muscled arm, peering out from beneath the cuff of his shirt, was Pinky.
"Look, I'll leave her in the car if she can't deal with Robert. The little rat fink was freaking out about me leaving again, so I broke. I told you this would be a disaster, Arilyn. I don't know why you were thinking I could take care of a dog."
And that's when it happened.
The great sex turned into more. Arilyn looked at this massive, pissed-off male cradling the tiny Chihuahua, with her pink collar and soft brown eyes that had come back to life, and did the dumbest thing in the whole wide world.
She tumbled into love right then and right there with Stone Petty.
He loved Pinky. Oh, yeah, he fought it and hated the idea, but he loved her so much, he didn't want to leave her alone. That was just the type of man he was. He didn't fall gracefully or willingly, but when he did, Arilyn knew he belonged to you for life. God, how she wanted him to belong to her like that.
What had she done?
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she fought for composure, swearing to bottle up the tide of crazy emotions to deal with later. Smiling through the sting of tears, she reached out and took Pinky from him, murmuring soothing nonsense to her. She shook slightly in her arms, looking back to Stone with an imploring look. "Don't be silly, I'm glad you brought her. The worst-case scenario: she can stay in the bedroom. But let's see how she does meeting Robert." She turned at the sound of front paws skittering over the wood floors and kept Pinky safely tucked in her arms. "Here's my good boy. Robert, we have a special guest tonight. Her name is Pinky, and she's been hurt. But she's a fighter like you."
Robert's tongue lolled out in excitement, but he stayed quietly in front of her, waiting for the go-ahead.
"She's scared, especially of pit bulls, so we need to show her how to trust again. Just like Stone did."
Robert looked up at Stone as if giving him a doggy high five.
"I want you to stay. I know you're happy for some company, but don't move. Understood?"
Robert dropped his head to his front paws and stilled.
"Damn, he's smart," Stone muttered. "Good boy."
Arilyn smiled and slowly knelt. Pinky began to shake with mini convulsions, a high-pitched whining beginning from her throat and growing into a panicked howl. Arilyn settled her on her lap, her hands stroking her small body, and allowed her to get used to Robert's presence. The howling went on for a while, but Arilyn never moved, and neither did Robert. As if he understood how important it was to remain completely still, Robert barely breathed, keeping his submissive posture.
Finally, the howling stopped. Pinky stared at Robert, who didn't make a move to attack her, and calmed.
Stone let out a breath. "My ears won't recover."
Arilyn kept soothing the dog and whispering low nonsense. "It's the only thing she had left, I think. Her voice. They're going to be okay together, but I think we'll keep Pinky separate for a while. Build up her level of safety. Can you take Robert to his bed and give him a dog treat? His purple bunny squeaker should be there, too. Tell him to stay."
Stone followed her instructions, and Pinky's body finally relaxed as Robert trotted off.
Arilyn pressed a kiss to her tiny head. "You did so good. You were very brave. Now, I have an extra dog bed so I'll set you up where you'll feel safe."
They fixed up the separate spaces and finally both dogs were happily settled. Stone went to the refrigerator and pulled out an IPA. "I'm sorry, Arilyn. I shouldn't have brought her. Do you want wine?"
"Yes, please." She let him fix both drinks and leaned over the counter. "I'm glad you brought her, Stone. She's doing so much better. Because of you, she gets to have a real life."
"Well, it's only a week left. I guess I can handle one more week."
She didn't answer, just sipped her wine. His voice held a tinge of regret, and Arilyn knew he wouldn't give her up. But he didn't realize it yet. He needed to figure it out on his own. "How was work?" she asked.
He tipped the bottle back and drank. Wiped his mouth. "Fine. We found a stolen car, which was so fucking exciting I thought Devine was gonna have a heart attack." She laughed. "Anyway, ended up being a kid dared by his friends, but for a while it was like being back in the Bronx, having a car chase."
She traced the rim of the wineglass with her finger. "Do you miss the Bronx?" she asked. "I mean, I know it was tough, but you got used to being challenged all the time. You nabbed real criminals, made a difference. Would you ever want to go back?"
He scratched his head. "Hell, no. Sure, it fed my ego a bit. I was always on, the rush of adrenaline kept pushing me for more. I worked around the clock, needing the hit like the junkies I busted. But I like Verily. I like what it represents. I have a real life here I wouldn't want to give up."
Happiness flooded her. She kept her head down so he wouldn't catch how much his words meant to her. "I'm glad."
"Are you?" He studied her thoughtfully and placed his beer down. "Why?"
She shifted her weight. "Because you're good for this town."
"Anything else?"
"Because I want you to be safe and like where you live."
"Hmm. I think there's more here y
She opened her mouth to answer, gave a squeak, and tried again. "Nope. Just want you to be happy."
His eyes held amusement. Slowly, he opened the freezer, took a cup, and began filling it with ice. "I think you like torturing me. Forcing me to exercise in a hundred-degree room while I watch you parade around half-naked. Tempting me with your gorgeous body on display, flaunting what I couldn't taste and touch, while you called me 'Officer' in that snotty tone."
Her skin heated. She watched as he took the half cup of ice and set it on the counter. "I didn't think you liked beer with ice."
"I don't. I have another use for this. You'll see in a minute." She looked at the cup. Worry creased her brow. There was something almost threatening about his tone of voice. "You were hot in that room with me, weren't you, Arilyn?"
"Yes. That was the point. Pumping the temperature helps release the toxins. I bet you felt amazing afterward."
"After a cold shower, I did. Will you take off your clothes for me?"
She stared at him. A shiver of trepidation raced down her spine. "Am I going to be naked again while you're dressed?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
He smiled. "Because it turns you on."
He was right. The secret, shocking exhibitionist in her had been let loose. Maybe it was the way he devoured her with his gaze. He never let her doubt what she did to him, giving him pleasure, and that made the whole encounter more exciting. And the naughtiness with him fully dressed, using his authority to command her to do things, totally wrecked her head. In a good way.
She placed her wineglass down and backed up. Arilyn had already planned to take charge with his seduction tonight, so this went with her goal perfectly. Slowly, she took off her clothes, running her fingers lightly over her skin in a caress, causing a groan to rip from his lips as she stroked her belly and thighs before shedding her entire outfit and underwear. By the time she was done with him, he wouldn't know how to speak English anymore. That would teach him she wasn't a woman who always bowed to direction. His hot gaze probed every inch of her body, lingering on her hard nipples, her tummy, her pussy.
His voice came out hoarse. "Every time I look at you I die a little. I brought a little present with me. Wanna see?"
She nodded, so aroused already she'd be lucky to know English herself. He reached in his back pocket and drew out two strips of red silk.
His ties.
Arilyn tamped down a moan. He watched her carefully and then, grabbing the cup of ice, began to close the distance. "I want to tie you up, Arilyn. Do things to you. Very bad things. Will you let me?
She meant to say yes but ended up releasing a husky moan.
"I'll take that as permission. Come with me." He led her into the bedroom and shut the door. Studying her queen-size bed, he ran a hand over the teak headboard as if assessing its potential as a sexual weapon of torture. "Hmm, posts too far apart. I'll have to improvise. Lie on the bed, little one."
Heart beating madly, anticipation tangling with a hot arousal that singed her nerve endings, she climbed on the bed, lying quietly, and he gently clasped her hands and raised them over her head. "I'm going to tie your wrists together. Keep them in that position. I don't want your arms too stretched by the headboard so I'll have to trust you'll keep your arms still. Just like you trust me to take care of you."
He situated her on the bed, checking the fit of the bright red tie and pulling her legs down the mattress a bit. "Perfect. I may never recover from this. You're so fucking beautiful."
A half laugh escaped her lips. "I may never recover from letting you do this."
He leaned over, his mouth inches from her. "I'd never hurt you, little one. You're too precious." He kissed her and she melted, surrendering to everything he wanted from her. When he broke away, a fierce tenderness gleamed from his eyes. "Let's play."
Stone took the other red tie and dangled the edge over her breast. With teasing, deliberate motions, he dragged the silky edge of the fabric over every inch of her body. She shivered at the gentle caress, the slight tickle over her hard nipples, the length of her arms, the sensitive skin of her belly. Down her legs, over her knee, and round her toes. He took his time, watching her face with an intensity that made liquid warmth trickle between her thighs.
"You like this," he murmured. "The feeling of being bound for my eyes, for anything I want to do. The excitement of not knowing what happens next." Her body prickled with awareness, until every stroke of the tie ramped up her arousal and sensation. He parted her legs wider and ran the fabric over her swollen pussy until a long whimper broke from her lips. "So wet and ready for me." He tossed the tie onto the floor. Flashed a wolfish grin. "Are you feeling a bit hot?"
Hot? She was burning alive, desperate for him to touch her where it mattered. Frustration nipped her nerve endings, stripping away the layers of civility until there was only the man before her and what he could give her. "Yes."
"Then let's cool you down, shall we?"
He took the cup from the nightstand and shook it. The rattle of ice echoed in the air.
"Wh-What are you going to do with that?"
He lifted a brow. "Whatever I want."
And then she knew what her punishment was going to be.
Her eyes widened. He stripped off his clothes. Laid a condom on the edge of the bed. Then, taking his time, drawing out the tension, he lifted an ice cube and sat on the edge of the bed. Studied her body as if deciding where to touch her first. Arilyn stiffened, waiting for the first slide of ice against her skin, and then he pressed the cube to the curve of her neck.
Wet. Icy. She shivered, and he ran the ice down to the valley of her breasts, tracing circles round and round them. She gasped at the sensation. Her nipples hardened, lengthening, begging for contact as he moved closer to the center. Arching up, silently begging, he finally slid the melting cube over her right nipple.
Oh, God.
The sharp burn of cold numbed her nipple. Arilyn hissed out a breath, shaking her head to ward off the feeling, and then he lowered his mouth and sucked on her nipple.
She gasped. The delicious wet, the heat of his tongue, the slight scrape of his teeth, all combined to fire her senses off like an explosion. He moved to the other breast, repeating the motions, and Arilyn tugged at her bound wrists, crazed to touch him and move and make him stop and make him continue.
"Ah, you like that. Let's see what else you like."
"Stone."
"I love your sweet body. I love the sounds you make in your throat, and the way you say my name." Rivulets of water trickled down her tummy and slid lower. He kissed his way down, lapping up the liquid. "I love the way you explode in my arms and give me everything you got." He grabbed another ice cube and traced patterns over her stomach, dipping into her navel and licking. "Spread your legs, little one. Wider. Yes, like that, beautiful. So swollen and wet. Now be a good girl and don't move."
Her thighs shook. He ran the ice over her inner thighs, tracing the line of pubic hair, moving closer to his goal. Her clit throbbed for attention, and she was so ready, she knew she'd come if he just gave her enough pressure.
He didn't. He teased her mercilessly, allowing the cube to melt around her channel but not close enough. He licked, he bit. She twisted, she moaned.
"Please, Stone. I can't take any more."
"Not done with you yet if you're still able to talk."
And with that, he pushed the ice cube inside of her.
Arilyn shot up, a keening whine echoing in the air. The freezing chill met with blistering heat, setting off mini convulsions of pure arousal and need. He moved the melting cube in a slow rhythm. At the same time, the second cube was pressed against her throbbing clit.
She cried out his name and jerked.
The brutal pain/pleasure ramped up her arousal until she hung on the edge of a cliff, desperate to
She came hard, tears stinging her eyes at the intensity of pleasure. Instead of softening, he sucked more violently, his fingers replacing the ice and thrusting again and again into her pussy, curving just perfectly to hit the magic G-spot and setting off another chain of orgasms.
Tears leaked from her eyes. Beyond anything she had ever experienced, she began to shake, calling his name as the only anchor she had left in a world that had just shattered away.
"Fucking magnificent," his voice growled. He surged up, over, and inside in one perfect thrust. "Fucking mine."
The raw possession swallowed her whole, the punishing, greedy strokes of him driving into her body over and over, the dirty whispers in her ear as he claimed her.
Arilyn broke free, taking all of him, and felt the next climax gobble her up whole. He shouted her name, his hands gripping hers, his dark eyes drilling into her soul until they both came together, and fell into each other's arms.
Mine.
The word echoed like a mantra repeatedly as he gently untied her, rubbed her wrists, and pulled her close.
Mine.
Yours, she whispered to herself. Then closed her eyes.
"WHY DID YOU STAY with him for so long?"
The dark was good for sharing secrets. With his arms wrapped around her, snuggled under the covers, his mouth against her ear, nothing seemed off-limits. "I thought I loved him," she said simply. "He had this way of making me feel like the most important person in the world. The way he focused on me. Listened. Shared with what I believed was pure emotion. He seemed so honest and real. He was also my yoga teacher, so he introduced me to a spiritual practice that changed my life."
"Was that the first time he cheated?"
She sighed and pressed a kiss to his palm. "No. It was the third. Each time, he explained that the others didn't mean anything to him. Cliche, I know, but he made me actually believe it. He used to say men weren't made for monogamy, that he was fighting his own nature, but he'd keep fighting because we were soul mates."
"Damn. He was good."
She laughed. "Yeah, he was good. It was also easier to continue because we were a secret. Think about it. Nothing really invaded the intimacy he claimed we had. No bickering parents, or in-laws, or coworkers. No friends or public events. It was just me and him on an island together."