The Many Sins of Lord Cameron by Jennifer Ashley
Cameron didn’t look tired of her now. He feathered kisses to her chin and neck before he moved down to her breasts. He suckled her, his mouth hot and wet, then parted her legs and slid himself into her.
The towel had rubbed her hot, but when Cameron thrust into her, all was wet and slick.
He stopped, their faces together, and Cameron looked into her eyes. She saw so much need there, and pain, so much loneliness. Fear. The powerful, dangerous Lord Cameron Mackenzie was afraid.
Ainsley couldn’t speak, the sensation of him stiff inside her robbing her of words. She responded to his stark fear the only way she could, by loving him.
Cameron moved slowly, the first thrust followed by another equally as slow. He was so big, but she loved the feeling of him inside her. The wide bed was at her back, and Cameron’s warm, solid body was on top of hers. As always, he held himself back, muscles bunching as he took his weight on his fists.
Nothing existed but the heat of Cameron’s skin against hers, his arousal spreading her wonderfully, his damp hair trickling water to her cheek. They rocked together, back and forth, Cameron moving faster now and then faster.
Finally he was driving into her in desperation, their bodies slick together, the joining fierce. Wild waves of climax rolled over Ainsley and lifted her into him. Cameron grunted with it, and Ainsley’s pleasure rang through the room.
“My Ainsley,” Cameron whispered brokenly. “I can’t lose you. Never. Never, never. . .” His words moved with his body, Cameron losing control. “My sweet, tight, beautiful wife.”
Ainsley cried his name, loving the sound of it. Cameron kept on, their bodies coming together, Cameron’s words drifting into groans.
Then they were falling together, body to body, into the wide, comforting embrace of the marriage bed.
Cameron caressed Ainsley’s skin, wondering again at how incredibly soft she was. Ainsley was a strong woman, but there was nothing coarse about her. Her skin was like satin, sleek now with perspiration and water from the bath.
He’d almost lost her today. When Cameron had watched the stallion swing his huge body right for Ainsley, and Ainsley stranded in that corner, his entire world had died.
He’d known he’d never reach her in time. He’d have to stand and watch the woman he loved be trampled to death, all because Cameron Mackenzie had coveted a horse. Only Angelo’s quickness had saved her, a deed Cameron could never repay.
Cameron had screamed at Lord Pierson, but he knew blame lay at his own feet. If he hadn’t bullied Pierson into bringing back Jasmine, Ainsley would never have been standing there, crooning over Jasmine, while a ton of dangerous horseflesh did its best to kill her.
Cameron’s hand shook as he tucked the covers around her, and Ainsley smiled sleepily. The smile he might never have seen again, because of his selfishness.
When Pierson had shouted that he’d remove Jasmine as well as the stallion, the decision to let them go had been easy. Ainsley was worth far more than a damned horse, and she always would be.
Ainsley’s smile remained, though her eyes drifted closed. Cameron felt his own body relax, the crash of exhaustion after panic, coupled with intense loving. His eyelids grew heavy, everything in him willing him to let go, descend into oblivion, sleep . . .
Panic touched him. Cameron started to slide from the bed, but Ainsley’s eyes snapped open. She caught his hand.
“No, not yet,” she said in alarm.
Cameron kissed her forehead. “I have to go, sweet. I don’t want to hurt you.” He wasn’t certain he could trust his own reflexes tonight, even with Ainsley.
Ainsley’s grip tightened. “Please, not yet. I’m still shaky. Just until I fall asleep. Please.”
Cameron saw the stark fear in her face. Ainsley might protest that she was fine, that all was well, that Angelo had been in time, but Cameron saw that the incident had scared the hell out of her.
She was asking for his comfort. Even while a cold finger of dread stole down Cameron’s spine, he knew he couldn’t walk away from her, not now. At this moment, when he had to choose between her peace of mind and his, he chose Ainsley’s.
Without a word, Cameron nodded.
Ainsley visibly relaxed. Cameron pulled the covers over them both, curling into the warmth of her and drawing her back against him. Ainsley closed her eyes, sweetly trusting.
Cameron waited while the fire crackled and the window darkened with coming night. Ainsley slid into sleep while he held her, her body moving gently with her even, slow breaths.
He could leave now. Cameron could slide out of bed and pad to the door, slipping to his own room to crawl into bed and welcome exhausted sleep.
He didn’t move. The silence of the room was soothing, as was the hiss of the burning coals and the rising wind that flowed under the house’s eaves. He and Ainsley were safe together in this nest, warm and comforting each other. Stillness, that was what Cameron needed. Stillness to be with Ainsley.
His body relaxed as the room grew darker. Soon Cameron knew nothing but Ainsley’s warmth, her presence, her scent. Then, oblivion.
Ainsley opened her eyes to sunlight and found herself nose-to-nose with her husband. Cameron lay on his side, cheek on the pillow, the covers kicked off in the stuffy room. His eyes were closed, his hair a mess. A faint snore issued from his slightly open mouth.
Lord Cameron Mackenzie was sleeping with her.
Chapter 25
Ainsley rose on her elbow to study him. Cameron lay like a recumbent beast, arms curled under his pillow, bare legs splayed. Morning sunlight pooled on the backs of his thighs, curls of wiry hair dusting his skin between the scars.
She’d not seen his body laid out for her like this before, showing plainly where his skin had been broken and gouged. Scars snaked from his thighs up and over his buttocks, dipping between the tight mounds of his backside. At the cleave, the skin had been scraped away entirely.
Cameron must have lain very much like this that horrible day about which Count Durand had taunted him—facedown, sprawled in sleep. Ainsley wondered how long it had taken for Cameron to feel safe sleeping in this position again, even behind the bedroom door he locked every night. A long time, she thought.
Now he slept hard, body limp, even the lines that marked the corners of his eyes smoothing to nothing.
Ainsley didn’t touch him. She lay down again, watching her husband until the sunshine soothed her back into warm sleep.
Something brushed Cameron’s thigh, and he jerked his eyes open. The room was bright with sunlight, close from the overly stoked fire. Cameron lay in a warm tangle of sheets and blankets with Ainsley snuggled up to him. The thing that had bumped him was Ainsley’s knee.
Her softly scented form nestled against his, her warmth like an embrace. Sunlight touched her spill of yellow gold hair and the lashes that lay against her skin. One plump arm cradled her head, the other rested across her body, hand on the mattress.
She was profoundly beautiful.
The realization worked into Cameron’s brain that although Ainsley had startled him awake, he hadn’t reacted. He hadn’t swung fists or tried to shove her away from him. He’d awakened to peace, to this moment in the warmth and brightness of her bedroom.
Ainsley slept on, unaware, and a strange stillness crept over Cameron. One by one, his fears untwined and released him.
Here in bed with Ainsley, he was safe from the beast that lingered within him, safe from the cruelty of others. He must have instinctively gentled his reaction to her, knowing that, even in his sleep, he needed to protect her. Something about Ainsley’s touch, her scent, had soothed him and kept him still.
Cameron let out his breath, his relief so vast that the world seemed too small to contain it. Ainsley was doing it again, awakening him, banishing the gray, letting him live.
He reached out and smoothed her hair, fingers shaking.
Ainsley made a little noise in her throat, and her eyes fluttered open.
She regarded him a
“Cam,” she whispered. “You stayed.”
Cameron skimmed his hand down her bare side, cupping the breast that was warm from the covers. “I decided that there is an advantage to waking up with you.”
Her smile turned sly. “Oh, yes?”
Cameron stroked her lips apart with his tongue. Ainsley nibbled his lower lip, and Cameron’s hardness throbbed.
“A decided advantage,” she said.
Cameron rolled on top of her. “I’m taking full advantage.”
Ainsley’s smile widened as Cameron easily slid inside her. “I see that,” she said.
Cameron silenced her by starting to love her with renewed vigor, in the safety and heat of her bed.
“Angelo.”
Angelo finished unfastening the girth of the horse he’d been riding and pulled off the saddle. He carried the saddle to a hook in the wall, folding up the stirrups, leaving it to be cleaned once the horse was taken care of.
Cameron watched Angelo pick up a curry comb and start on the haltered horse’s sweaty hide. The prize racer half closed his eyes in enjoyment.
Angelo said nothing, waiting as usual to see what Cameron had on his mind. He went on rubbing the stiff metal brush in a circular motion, loosening dirt and hair and sweat from the horse’s back.
“I want to give you all the money in the world, Angelo,” Cam said. “I want to make you King of England. Hell, a Romany would make a damn sight better king than the Saxe-Coburgs.”
Angelo flashed him a grin. “Please don’t. I wouldn’t like staying indoors all day.”
“All the money in the world, though. You deserve it.”
“Money is good to keep the belly full and the fire warm,” Angelo conceded. “But it’s more fun to steal it.”
“Don’t make light of this. You saved Ainsley’s life, yesterday. That’s worth everything I have.”
Angelo kept the curry comb moving. “I was close enough to do something, is all. I know how you think, so I know you’re blaming yourself, but I saw how volatile that stallion was. I should have ignored Pierson and handled him anyway.”
“And Pierson would have you sitting in a magistrate’s court today for horse thieving. We’re well rid of the man. But Ainsley shouldn’t have had to suffer for it.”
“Aye, that’s true enough.” Angelo gave him a quiet look. “Don’t give me your kingdom. I don’t want it, and I know that if it had been my sister or mother or lover in danger, and you’d been close enough, you’d have done the same.”
“Yes.”
Angelo finished currying, tapped the dirt from the comb, and started on the horse’s coat with the softer dandy brush. This one he swept in the direction the horse’s hair grew, and the champion racer, who’d finished first in his year at Newmarket, Epsom, and Doncaster, rocked his weight onto one hip and grunted with pleasure.
“Ainsley wants to see your canal boat,” Cameron said.
Angelo’s grin lit his eyes. “Let me send word to Mother first so she can have a good cleanup. She’d tan my hide if I brought her ladyship on board without warning.”
Cameron, having met Angelo’s mother, understood. Angelo’s mother stood about four and a half feet tall, if that, and ruled Angelo’s vast family with an iron fist.
They left it at that. Angelo understood Cameron’s gratitude, and Cameron knew the man would take it in stride.
Cameron left the stable, still too agitated to ride—horses didn’t need a jerky, anxious rider—and watched from the edge of the paddock as the jockeys did training runs.
He felt rather than heard Daniel stop beside him. Daniel was, if anything, even taller than he’d been when they’d left Kilmorgan, and had filled out still more.
Cameron couldn’t help remembering the child who’d followed him about on spindly legs, demanding to know everything about “the ponies.” Even though Cameron had been offhand with Daniel, he’d always been acutely aware of where his son had been and what he’d been doing at all times, going after him when he went astray, as he’d done in Glasgow. He and his brothers between them had somehow raised him without making too much of a mess of it.
“Well, I’m off,” Daniel said.
“Off? Where this time?”
Daniel stuck his hands in the pockets and gave Cameron a bland look. “University. Isn’t that where you’ve been trying to shove me these last months?”
“I thought you hated Cambridge.”
“I do. So, I’m not going to Cambridge. I’m going to Edinburgh. I thought maybe Glasgow, which is why I legged it down there that day.”
Cameron’s exasperation rose. “Is that what that was all about? Damnation, Danny, why didn’t ye tell me?”
He shrugged. “I wanted to see the place before I begged ye to send me there. Didn’t expect to get in a scrape. I dressed decently so the warden wouldn’t toss me out on my ear, but it was too tempting for those lads. They wanted the clothes off my back, would you believe it? If they needed money, they only had to ask. I told them.”
“So you went to jail with them? Noble of ye, son.”
“They didn’t think I’d fight back. I was fighting as hard as they were, so I didn’t see I should get off. Their leader, ye know, he’s not so bad. For a street tough.”
God help us. “Ye chose Edinburgh, though. Why? Fewer street toughs?”
“Amusing, Dad. I like a professor there who’s going to teach me engineering. And there’s one who’ll teach me architecture. No more philosophy, thank ye very much.”
“If you didn’t want to study philosophy, Danny, you only had to say.”
Again the careless shrug. “I didn’t much know, Dad, truth to tell. I had to wander about, find out for myself. But I’m fixed now. Hilary term’s part done, but they say they’ll give me private instruction to bring me up to scratch. I’ll get the lay of the land, meet the chaps, see how it goes. I’ll come back here between terms and then seriously start at Trinity. I’ll catch the train today, send you a telegram when I arrive. Uncle Mac says I can stay in his house there.”
The tight pain in Cameron’s heart startled him. Cam had grown used to having Daniel with him all the time. He’d purchased the Berkshire estate partly because he’d be close to Daniel when he was at Harrow.
Now their paths were diverging. The son Cameron had fought so hard to protect was ready to start protecting himself.
“Why the sudden wish to rush off?” Cameron asked in a light voice. “I can always use more help with the horses. The Newmarket races will be here soon enough, and you can start at Trinity term.”
Daniel looked his father straight in the eye. “Because I know you’ll be all right without me. You don’t need me anymore, Dad. You’ve got Ainsley looking after you, now.”
“I thought I was looking after her.”
Daniel snorted. “She might let ye think so. But you spent the whole night with her last night, didn’t you? Sleeping and all?”
Cameron’s face heated. “That’s your business now, is it?”
“The whole house knows it, Dad. They’re pleased that you have a chance for a good marriage, and so am I.”
“Good God, doesn’t anyone have anything better to talk about?”
“Not really. They all like Ainsley and want to make sure you treat her well. I like her too, and want the same. But ye proved yourself.”
Cameron’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why you’ve been staying with us all winter? So you could keep an eye on me with Ainsley?”
“Partly. That’s why I know that it’s all right for me to go now.”
Cameron wanted to laugh. He wanted to hug Daniel, tell the lad he was a damn fool, and then tell him that he loved him.
Neither had ever been comfortable with that kind of sentimentality, so both turned to watch the horses. The filly called Chance’s Daughter, a pretty bay Cameron had bought about the time Ian married Beth, ran with grace and enthusiasm. She’d do well this year in the
“Daniel,” Cameron said after a time. “I know I’ve been the worst father a lad can be stuck with.”
“Not your fault, Dad. You’re a Mackenzie.”
“So are you. Don’t forget that.” Horses thundered toward them, Chance’s Daughter smoothly pulling into the lead. “Don’t make the mistakes I did.”
“I’ll make plenty of my own, I warrant. But I have an advantage, ye know. All you got was a dad who beat his sons and was jealous of them too. I have a dad who tries to do the right thing, even if he mucks it up most of the time. And then there’s my sweet aunties and my stepmother to show me that some women ain’t so bad. They don’t all just want our money. Some of the lasses even like us.”
Cameron let out a laugh. “Yes, some of them do. Now, I’m going to do something to embarrass you.”
He grabbed Daniel and jerked him to him in a big bear hug. Instead of stiffening, Daniel laughed and hugged his father back. The embrace grew tighter and tighter until Cameron couldn’t breathe. Daniel had certainly grown strong.
The two broke. “Come back to us soon, all right?” Cameron said.
“Of course. You’re going to teach me everything you know about working with the ponies, so once I’m done with university I can become a partner in your stables. We’re going to be world famous, Dad.”
“You have that all planned out? What about your engineering and your architecture?”
“I can do that too. Might even invent a better transport for horses or build a better stable. Plus I’ll work on the chaps at university and have them and their dads to send the horses to us.” He clapped his father on the shoulders. “I already said good-bye to Ainsley. She cried and kissed me on the cheek, and then gave me a packet of cakes. Marrying her was the smartest thing you ever did, Dad. There’s hope for you, yet.”
With that pronouncement, Daniel hugged his father again. Cameron returned the embrace, then reluctantly released him.