Heart of Steel by Jennifer Probst
"Strange." She sounded thoughtful. "Hot and tingly. Like I'm craving something, something I can't reach yet."
Logan stilled, choosing his words with care. "And you never felt like this before?"
"I did once. But not this intensely. And the other time became, well, painful."
He realized then that she'd never had a man fully satisfy her. She probably didn't realize her past lover selfishly took her virginity and ignored her needs. Logan cursed the stupidity of the man. There was an untapped wealth of passion contained in Chandler Santell. The knowledge he'd be the first to give her such an experience affected him in a way he never expected. Overcome by possessiveness, he knew he could make this woman truly belong to him. But it was more than that. He realized he wanted her to surrender not only her body, but her heart. Humbled by the gift she wanted to bestow, he suddenly wanted to be worthy of it.
She needed to trust him completely.
So tonight he couldn't make love to her.
He closed his eyes and fought for control. Then he bent his head and pushed back the heavy mane of hair from her neck. He let his warm breath brush against her ear as he bestowed light kisses down her cheek. "I want you to close your eyes and relax, Chandler. Let me show what I can do to you."
Chandler felt wrapped in a cocoon of warmth. His voice poured over her like hot caramel. His hands moved over her breasts and squeezed. She gripped at his thighs as the tension grew and a low moan of frustration escaped her lips. His fingers ran down her stomach and stroked her legs. She arched upward, demanding more, demanding something, uncertain.
"Oh, sweetheart." He sucked in his breath as he looked down, taking in her creamy skin, flat stomach, full naked breasts, and the honey brown triangle hidden at the apex of her smooth thighs. She wore only a scrap of pale pink lacy underwear.
"Logan?"
He heard the uncertainty in her voice and soothed her. "I know you feel like you're losing control, but I'm going to show you more pleasure than you've ever known. Let me give you this."
His fingers trailed across her stomach and left a path of fire. Her mind worked sluggishly through a fog of desire. Her eyes closed halfway as he traced his thumb along the line of her panties. His palm settled over her center and he lightly massaged her tender flesh.
Her hips shot up when his fingers pressed. He rotated his hand, dragging the lacy material back and forth over her, until her heart pounded and her blood roared and she thought she'd die of pleasure if he kept going.
"Open your legs for me, Chandler," he muttered darkly in her ear. One finger slipped under the elastic, testing her swollen heat, her readiness for him. She gasped at the sensation and wanted more. Her legs opened for him. With a murmur of satisfaction he slipped another finger under the material and touched her intimately.
"Logan!"
His teeth nipped at her earlobe as his fingers slipped inside. Stretched her wet, pulsing heat. He played gently, wringing cries from her lips, testing the swollen bud of her desire. Slowly, he rubbed back and forth until she gave up and gave him everything she had.
She cried out as convulsions wracked her body and pushed her over the edge. For one single moment in time she flew through space in a channel of pure pleasure. As she floated she was aware of the soothing words whispered in her ear, the arm that anchored her against his chest, the hand that now lovingly stroked her thigh. She relaxed into his body, trusting his strength. She enjoyed being held close by this powerful man who taught her things about life she'd never known. After a while she realized he held himself still. His muscles clenched with tension. She felt him hard against her.
"Logan?" she asked hesitantly.
"Hmmm?"
"What about you?"
She heard the smile behind his words when he spoke. "What about me?"
Chandler turned her head. A faint blush rose to her cheeks. "Well, ummm, I thought we were going to, well, that is I thought you wanted to--" She bit her lip and tried to get the words out.
"Make love with you?" he asked as he turned her body until she was facing him. His lips rubbed over hers and he slipped his tongue inside to taste her. She welcomed him, their tongues playing with each other until they tired of the game and kissed hungrily. When he pulled away, he tipped her chin up and studied her face. "What I just did to you gave me more pleasure than you'll ever know." His thumb pressed over her swollen lips. "There's nothing I want more than to carry you in the bedroom and make love all night long, until both of us don't know where one begins and the other ends. But I want more. I want you to trust me. I want you to give yourself to me in every possible way, and I won't settle for less. When I take you into bed there will be no Richard Thorne. No doubts. And no more running away."
The stark words hung in the air between them. She realized this was one of the strongest men she'd ever known. A surge of emotion caught her. He was a proud man who stood alone in the world, and a ruthless executive who made million dollar deals without breaking a sweat. Yet he chose to show her tenderness, unlike Michael who had told her he loved her, then treated her like a plaything for his own pleasure. Her initiation into sex had shown her none of the softer emotions she longed to receive as a woman from a lover. She decided such bliss mingled with magic existed only in her daydreams.
Logan Grant showed her it was real.
He gave her pleasure while denying himself. He held back when she was vulnerable, and chose to wait until he earned her trust. He gave her fair warning of his intentions, and even if he only wanted an affair, he wanted all of her for that period of time, demanding no less.
Her emotions for Logan went deeper. She was falling in love with him, but if she gave herself tonight she'd be lost. His emotions had nothing to do with love. When their affair was over, she'd have nothing left. He'd break her heart, and she'd be forced to dissolve their business contract, which would destroy the Yoga and Arts Center. She'd be back in the same position she was four years ago. With nothing.
She wasn't ready to take that kind of risk yet, make that choice.
Logan knew her answer. Confusion shimmered in emerald green eyes, along with wariness, and he told himself to be patient. Things always came with time. Chandler would be his if he waited for her to realize she loved him.
Then he'd have everything.
He smiled. He pulled her against him and held her close. "I didn't tell you any of this to scare you." He stroked her hair. "I wanted you to know where I stand."
"I always knew you were a bully," she muttered into his chest.
Logan chuckled. "And you, my little free spirit, are one of the most stubborn women I've ever met. Now, you better get dressed before all my good intentions go straight to hell."
Chandler quickly dressed, smiling when he distracted her to place a tender kiss in the valley of her breasts.
He locked up his house and caught her watching him with a thoughtful expression. "What are you thinking about?"
Chandler grinned. "I've come up with the perfect addition to my stress workshop."
He shook his head as they walked to the car. "Still thinking about work, hmmm? So, what's the new idea?"
As he reached down to unlock the passenger side door she stood on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. "Sex therapy. Guaranteed to reduce stress and tension in the most pleasurable of ways."
He was still chuckling when he dropped her off at her door.
Chapter 7
*
Chandler sipped her herbal tea and glanced around the overcrowded cafe. When Richard called asking to meet Sunday afternoon, she'd thought it was the perfect opportunity to talk about their relationship. She'd woken up with a sense of guilt. Somehow, even though Richard was the perfect mate, she didn't love him. The night spent with Logan proved it. But she needed to tell Richard in person she only wanted friendship. He deserved to know the truth.
"Chandler, how are you?"
She looked up and smiled. He took off his leather bomber jacket and settled into the overstuffed chair.
"I've missed you," he said. He reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. She kept a smile on her face, but gently disengaged herself. A frown creased his brow at her action, but he didn't say anything.
"It's good to see you too," she said.
He looked amused. "Hmmm, I get more enthusiasm from my dentist."
Chandler laughed. "I didn't mean it like that." She paused. "Richard, we need to talk."
"You're right. I called because I want to ask you a question. An important question."
She shifted in her seat. "Okay. You go first."
He took her hand again, more firmly this time. "Since we've met I've been doing a lot of thinking. I enjoy your company. Besides having a good time, we have a lot in common. And I have feelings for you." She opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her. "No, let me finish. I'm getting older. I want to be with a woman who has the same goals. A woman who wants to have children and a family."
"Richard--"
"I want you to marry me."
The sounds of a Chinese flute drifted across the room and filled the sudden silence at the table. Struggling for composure, she took a deep cleansing breath. An odd urge came over her to laugh. The man across the table should be her soul mate. She should be overjoyed at finding someone so right, and accept his proposal. Damn Logan Grant for ruining it. Damn him for making her feel things she shouldn't.
"I'm honored," she said softly. "It's been a long time since I've met a man I can have a friendship with. But it's not enough to base a marriage on."
"Friendship is the strongest foundation a couple has. The rest fades away." He squeezed her hand. "Let me make you happy. I want to build a life with you."
Her lower lip trembled. "I don't love you. I care about you, but not enough to get married. You're my friend, but I--"
"It's Logan Grant."
She pulled back with surprise. "What?"
He let out his breath and turned slightly away from her. "You're having delusions about Grant. The sad part is I've seen this before. Many times."
A cold chill settled over her. "I don't want to talk about this."
He shook his head. "Don't you get it? He always has an agenda. He seduces women for two reasons. Business and sportsmanship. With you, it's probably for both."
She kept her face calm, but her stomach twisted into a knot of fear. "This has nothing to do with Logan."
"Oh, yes, it has everything to do with him. You know something? I'm tired of being the nice guy all the time. I thought you were a woman who could see past all that smoke Grant throws out, but I guess not. Do you think you can trust him?"
"I--"
"Because you can't. The truth is, he personally warned me to stay away from you. When I told him our relationship was none of his business, he threatened my job."
She gasped. "He would never do that. I know he likes to control people, but he lives by a code of ethics."
Richard laughed humorlessly. "Ethics, huh? He doesn't care about truth or ethics unless that can get him what he wants. I'm worried about you. He's after something and you're the target."
"That's crazy. I don't have anything except a yoga school."
"Then why did he order a dossier on you?"
Iciness crept up her spine. The room swayed but she forced her voice to remain calm. "How do you know he ordered a dossier?"
He sighed. "I went into his office to get something signed and found some papers with your name on it. I was curious, so I asked him. He told me not to worry about it. When he left I went back and searched his desk. Those papers detailed the story of your life. Ordered straight by a private investigator."
The roar in her ears grew but she fought it back. "Maybe it was just a background check. We do have a business contract."
Richard stared at her with cold eyes. "I do all the background checks. They're one page documents. They don't detail what you ate for breakfast when you were five years old."
The truth slammed through her like a hurtling freight train. Richard was right. Dear God, if Logan had read about her past, that meant he knew about her father. Michael. Her father's obsession with marriage.
And his need to marry her off to a businessman.
Goose-bumps broke out over her arms. Their past encounter flashed before her mind. The total focus and concentration Logan showed, intent on giving her pleasure. The threats regarding Richard and Harry. His need to be the only man in her life.
Now she knew why. He wanted to marry her to gain her father's business. He was a professional, just like Michael had been, and wasn't about to take any chances of her getting involved with another man. Logan didn't want her. He wanted the money.
When she looked back up from the table, Richard regarded her intently. Concern shone in chestnut brown eyes. Anger burned through her, pure and hot and demanding. Last time she'd run away and started a new life. This time she'd track down Logan Grant and make him pay.
"Chandler? Are you okay?"
She forced a nod. "You're a good friend. I know the popular saying about killing the messenger, but I don't blame you for telling me the truth. I needed to hear it, I guess."
"Then let me ask you a question. Now that you know about Grant, will you give me an honest shot?"
Chandler bit her lip. Reality hit full force. No matter what she knew about Logan, she did not love the man across from her. It wasn't right to lead him on and hope her feelings would change.
She gently squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, Richard. I think we should remain friends. That's all I can handle right now."
For one moment, she thought she caught a glitter of hatred, but it was gone so quickly she figured it was her imagination. He nodded. "Okay. But I'm not giving up. With a little time, you'll see how right we are for each other."
He didn't give her time to answer. He threw some money on the table and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. Then he was gone.
Chandler sat in the cafe and stared at the table. Someone had carved Nancy loves Ray into the battered wood. The chanting switched to a familiar Bohemian rhythm. Raw emotions rose up inside of her in tune to the pulsing music, and she closed her eyes. The same nightmare all over again. A man she was falling for only wanted her for the business. This time she wasn't about to meekly sit around and wait for Fate to decide.
She rose from the table and grabbed her coat. She needed to find him. There were a few things she wanted to say.
Chandler paced her daffodil carpeted floor like a tiger in her cage. She tried the office but nobody knew where he was. She'd called his house and reached his answering service. She'd sent a text, left a message on his Blackberry, and still heard nothing. Damnit, she wasn't about to wait for Monday morning and have a blowout with him at his office. If there was any way she could continue her program, she needed to talk to him in private. He was a millionaire CEO in Manhattan and he refused to answer his phone? Where the hell would a high powered executive be on a Sunday afternoon?
Laura.
She blinked. Laura Weatherall had mentioned something about Logan disappearing on Sundays. She dove for the phone book and dialed her number. Laura's cheerful voice came over the receiver.
"Hi, it's Chandler Santell. Do you remember me? We went out for dinner."
"Oh, of course,
"I'm fine." She paused. "Actually, I'm not so fine. I need to get a hold of Logan and I can't find him anywhere. Do you know where he is?"
A short silence settled between them. "Yes, I do. Is it an emergency?"
"Yes. It's important."
"You can find him at Greenbriar Home for the Elderly. It's in Westchester. Let me just get the address."
Chandler jotted down the number and thanked her. She locked up the house and jumped in the car. As she made the drive upstate, she tried to imagine why he would be spending his afternoon at an elderly home. Did he have a grandmother there she didn't know about? Friend? Not that it mattered, of course. She just wanted to clear the record between them, and try to keep their relationship on a business level. After telling him exactly what she thought of his rotten, underhanded ways.
The three level building was surrounded by evergreen trees, and gave off a rustic environment. She pulled into the parking lot and made her way up the twisting path, nodding to a few residents as they were maneuvered in wheelchairs back and forth the sidewalks. She stopped at the front desk, where a woman gave her a cheerful smile.