Heart of Steel by Jennifer Probst
And she'd been a fool to forget it.
"Chandler? Are you okay?"
She gathered the last of her strength and nodded. "I'm fine. In fact, this doesn't really surprise me. I just have to decide what to do."
He reached for her hand. Her fingers felt like ice linked within his. "You may not believe this, but I'm sorry I had to tell you. I never wanted to hurt you, even though I'm glad you know the truth about Grant."
"How did you know?"
He shrugged. "I am his attorney. I found the contracts, and when I started seeing meetings with your father turn up on the sly, I got suspicious."
She managed to nod again. "Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry I didn't believe you before but I--I just--"
"Doesn't matter. I know how Grant cons a woman." He reached into his pocket with his other hand and pulled out a small jewelers case. "This is the lousiest timing a man can have, and later I'll probably kill myself for being so stupid. But I can't wait any longer." He snapped open the lid. A perfect diamond marquise glittered in the rays of streaming sunlight. "I want you to marry me. I want to show you what a relationship based on truth is like. I want to grow old with you, raise babies, and give you everything you've ever dreamed about. Give me a chance."
She stared at the diamond. Stared at the brilliant stone sparkling against the black velvet. Started at the symbol of marriage; love; commitment; trust. Stared at the man who swore he could give her it all, even though she loved a man who had betrayed her.
She willed herself to say the word.
Willed herself to step into the shelter he offered. She'd finally have a man who didn't care about money. A man to offer her protection. She could leave all the heartbreak behind and start a new life.
All it took was one word.
"I can't." Her voice broke. "I can't do this right now."
Seconds ticked by. Slowly, he closed the case and slipped it back in his jacket. "I know you're not ready yet. I know you have to deal with this thing Grant did to you. But I'll be waiting. You'll realize what life is really about, and then you'll come to me."
He rose from the couch and closed the door with a gentle click. Chandler sat for a while in her living room and watched the rays of light pour through the window. It was happening all over again. She could sit here while her future was played out in a corporate office, or she could get her butt down there and confront some very old demons.
Chandler grabbed her purse and walked out the door.
"I'm sorry, Chandler, he's in a business meeting now. Do you want to take a seat?"
She flashed her warmest smile at the secretary. "No, I told him I'd drop by, Connie. If you look in the book you'll see he's meeting with my father. Alexander Santell."
One manicured nail stopped at his nine o'clock appointment. "Oh, my goodness, I never realized you both had the same last names. Sure, honey, go right in. I'm sure they won't mind. Are you okay? You look a little pale."
"I'll be fine. I just have to handle a few things and then everything will go back to normal. Thanks." Turning from the secretary's puzzled look, Chandler walked toward Logan's office. Her hand paused on the doorknob as she experienced a flash of deja vu. With a deep breath, she opened the door and walked in.
A thick cloud of smoke drifted in the air. She took in the scene before her. Time melted away and kept her a prisoner of the past. Her father stood over Logan's desk, puffing furiously on his cigar, his face set in a determined, stubborn way which many people said she inherited. Logan sat in his chair, relaxed and at ease as he listened to her father's bellowing voice. As the door shut gently behind her, both men turned at the sound.
A deadly quiet settled over the room as they stared at her. Her gaze cut immediately to the man behind the desk, searching his eyes, seeing shards of ice reflected in their depth. A tight fist squeezed her heart but she showed only a deep calm that mocked her raging emotions.
"Hello, father."
"What are you--"
"Chandler, I need to--"
She cut them both off with one swift wave of her hand as she made her way towards them. She glanced at the papers sprawled across Logan's desk which spelled out exactly what her new husband would inherit the moment she married. Using their stunned silence to her advantage, she picked up the papers and scanned through them with interest, then tossed the contract back on the desk. A brilliant smile curved her lips but she knew her eyes glittered with a mixture of rioting emotions.
"Congratulations to both of you. It seems I've underestimated you, father, on your determination to finally pick the right man to head your financial empire." She turned to Logan and bowed. "And you deserve an Oscar for such a riveting performance. You make Michael look like a bumbling acting student against your--how should I put it--experience?"
"Don't." Logan shot up from his chair. The word echoed like a gunshot.
"Now listen here, young lady," Alexander Santell bellowed out to his daughter. "I've been trying to look out for your best interests from the beginning. For the last four years you've barely even taken my phone calls, but now I want you to listen to what I have to say."
Chandler laughed, the sound brittle and cold to her ears. She pushed back her heavy mane of hair. "I don't have to hear a word you say, father. You don't own me anymore. I have my own life and my own business and my own money. I can even find my own men, which I will prove to you one day. Of course, I'm sure none of them will be as eager to please me as Logan. You see, he at least had the motivation of a million dollar empire."
Logan's voice was like a whiplash. "Don't say another word. You'll only regret it. And this time my retribution won't be so easy to overlook."
She stared at him in amazement. "Don't you realize the game is over? As a rational businessman you should have learned when to cut your losses."
His cold icy gaze suddenly turned hot and burned into her. A smile touched his lips. "As a smart businessman I also know when the other party is bluffing. Game's not over till all parties throw in their cards. You may be angry as hell right now, but you can't deny what happened between us and you know it."
Her hands clenched in rage and frustration at his knowing look. She had to force herself to take long, deep breaths so she would ignore the temptation to hurl the nearest paperweight at his smug face. Even when Michael betrayed her she hadn't felt this enraged. With Michael an icy shell had hardened her heart, and protected her from the swirling emotions now waiting to overwhelm her.
Her body still trembled just at the sound of Logan's voice, the look in his eyes. The anger seething inside of her was on the edge of sexual desire, and she knew it could be turned with just a touch. The knowledge that this man had such great power over her even after she discovered the truth made her want to run from him as fast as she could. Where she would be safe.
But this time there was nowhere to run.
She drew on the deep well of control and discipline she learned throughout the years. "Nothing happened between us," she stated calmly. "It was all based on lies. Therefore, it meant nothing to me." Her eyes hardened with determination even though her lower lip trembled. "I never want to see you again, Logan Grant." Chandler paused. "Ever."
Tension and frustration coiled around his figure. "That's impossible. We have a contract."
Chandler gave a short laugh. "No problem. Funny, how the escape clause works both ways. I never thought I'd be using it in this capacity, but if you check with Harry I'm sure you'll see it's perfectly legal. I'm pulling my services from L&G Brokerage. Effective immediately."
She turned on her heel and paused briefly in front of her father. She stared at the man who raised her, his elegant, stately figure, his mane of silver hair, his green eyes so like her own. For a moment she fought back tears, and then once again, she was back in control.
"You never did understand what I wanted. Power and money doesn't mean a thing to me. Marrying a man who just wants to get his hands on the company you've built from scratch would be a negation of e
Chandler walked out of the office with her head held high, leaving the two men staring after her in silence.
He would be coming for her soon.
Chandler stared out the window in her living room and tried to gather the last shreds of her self control for the confrontation ahead. After she left the office she headed straight home, knowing Logan would soon follow. She knew her lover well. He was going to do everything in his power to convince her he was innocent in the whole mess, and try to repair the damage. He would use whatever skills he could, and focus on every weakness to further his goal--mainly the traitorous response of her body.
And, of course, the knowledge that she still loved him.
She sighed and walked to the clear square space in the corner of her room. She knelt on the thick carpet and let her head hang down, rotating her neck in a clockwise, circular motion to release the tension. Focusing completely on her body and breath, she moved with grace and strength into each yoga posture, clearing her mind.
Four years ago she had left everything she'd known and started a new life. But now she was twenty six years old, an adult who was responsible for her own decisions, and she knew there was no running away from the problem. She would have to face Logan one last time and convince him it was over between them.
She only hoped she had the strength.
Chandler heard the door open behind her. She rose from the carpet and turned around. Logan watched her from across the room, his gaze hotly roaming her body, his jaw clenched with determination. Slowly, he removed his suit jacket and tossed it over the side of the chair. He moved with the lean, easy grace that was a part of who he was. Chandler stood her ground.
"I'm glad you realized there was nowhere you could run where I wouldn't find you."
"I realized there was no reason to run this time." Her eyes moved over the hard, sensual lines of his face. "I'm not the same girl I was four years ago. This time I'm stronger."
"You were always strong, Chandler. I knew that the moment you walked into my office."
"You knew a lot more about me than I realized. For instance, you knew all about my father and my past. You saw an opportunity to further your company and you took it. How could I blame you? After all, it was just business."
A variety of emotions flickered across his face. Black brows lowered in a fierce frown. "I knew nothing about your father until he approached me weeks later. He made an appointment to talk to me about a contract that would give me full control of his company. Under certain conditions, namely that the papers would be signed, sealed and delivered the moment I put a ring on your finger."
"So you knew nothing about me until my father approached you with his offer?" she asked in disbelief. "No idea about my past or my disaster with Michael Worthington?"
A muscle worked in his jaw and his hands reached out to grasp her shoulders. "I told you about the dossier, and I told you I never finished reading it. I learned everything when your father finally met with me." He paused. "I also learned he offered the same type of deal to Richard Thorne."
Chandler closed her eyes and struggled to hear this new lie. Now he was trying to use Richard to place the blame. Her stomach lurched sickeningly and she pulled away from him with one strong movement. "What a brilliant business move on your part." Her eyes shot dangerous sparks. "Richard came to me this morning and warned me you were meeting with my father. He's the one who tells the truth. And he's the one who wants to marry me."
He grasped her chin with his hand and forced her head upward. "Don't play games with me."
She gave a humorless laugh. "I retired from business games long ago. Complements of Daddy dearest. It seems Richard wants to build a life with me, one based on truth. Perhaps that's something you'll never understand."
Anger burned from his eyes. "Thorne wants to marry you so he can get his hands on your father's company. He knew all about you the first day you walked into my office."
"Oh, did he order a dossier also?"
"No, he knew Michael Worthington years ago. I did some research and found they ran in the same circles. Both wanted money and power, and didn't mind marrying to get it. He's using you, Chandler. Hell, woman, he doesn't love you the way I do. He's the one who would choose the money every time."
"You're not still trying to convince me to believe you by saying you love me?" she asked, amazed at his arrogance. "I'm not one of your bimbos, Logan Grant, and once I learn a hard lesson I try never to repeat it. I will never become involved with a man who lies to me. You did. I'll never give you another chance."
"Oh, but you will. You don't have a choice in the matter. You can't pretend everything that's happened between us is null and void just because you want it to be. You lay in my bed and cried my name and took my body deep inside of yours. You gave me your heart and your mind and every inch of that delectable body."
He lowered his head. His breath rushed hot against her lips. The hard length of his body pressed against hers, the heat from his skin radiated in waves, overpowering her senses with the scent of musk and lemon and soap.
In that moment she hated him as much as she hated her own traitorous body, already trembling, her breasts swollen and aching, the liquid throbbing heat pulsing between her thighs. She hated wanting him, needing him, loving him still, even though she knew it was all a lie.
"I will never give you anything willingly," she said fiercely. Her nails dug into his upper arms in response to the raging emotions coursing through her. "My body may want sex, but my mind and heart will hate you."
His mouth came down on hers, hard, demanding, his tongue plundering the dark recesses of her mouth with all the raw, seething sexual energy burning between them. She fought him just as hard, but his body slammed against hers, his hands pulled her toward him, forcing her thighs to open so she could feel his desire. His tongue thrust over and over again, until she gave him everything he asked for. Her hands gripped his neck and she opened her mouth fully to accept every dark, stroking motion of his tongue.
Her senses whirled out of control; she became a creature of feeling, each movement of his hand stoked the flames hotter and hotter, until nothing seemed to matter except to slake the hungry, empty space inside of her. His hands dragged across her breasts and rubbed the tight nipples, eliciting a low, animal groan. His teeth bit at her lower lip, soothed with his tongue, then slipped back into her mouth to taste her again, bending her backward over one arm as the kiss went on and on and on--
Suddenly, she was out of his arms. Her breath came in deep, ragged gulps, and she fought the dizzying sensation of being dragged away from his body. His gunmetal gaze drilled into hers, and his hand trembled slightly as he reached up to push the hair away from her face. The silence stretched between them as the sexual electricity sizzled through the air.
"I never wanted the damn contract," Logan said. "This morning I told your father to go to hell, that I wasn't involved with you to achieve the big prize. You were the prize. After everything we shared together, do you still believe I would choose money over you? And I never lied. I told you when we first made love that my body could never lie.
"Before you came into my life, I believed what everyone said about me. That I had no heart, and if it did exist, it had turned to steel over the years." He paused. "But you looked into my eyes and showed me they were wrong. You made me whole. What you gave me is worth more than any damn business deal your father can offer. But I guess you don't believe that either, do you, Chandler? I guess it's still easier to believe a man who pretends to tell you what you want to hear. A man who's safe."
The words were like hard stone dropping between them. She struggled for control and stared at him. Her heart wanted to believe him, but her mind told her she needed to walk away from this man before he took everything she had and completely destroyed her.
"I don't believe you. I don't think I'll ever believe you again."
W
"So be it. I won't bother you again."
Chapter 14
*
"You look like hell."
Chandler laughed at Harry's concerned look and continued dragging over the mats for the start of her next class. "Thanks, buddy. I needed a little cheering up."
"No, I mean it. I'm worried about you."
She faced her friend. "I'm okay. Just a little tired. I've been working some extra hours."
He grabbed her hand and led her into the office. Pushing her gently into the worn cushions of the sofa, he stared at her hard. She knew his gaze took in the circles under her eyes and the pale tone to her skin. Then he went over to the tea pot to pour her a mug of the steaming herbal brew. She sipped at it gratefully and prepared herself for one of Harry's lectures.